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menu text: 0x01010b: " ** PRESS MOUSE BUTTON ** " 0x010136: " " 0x010161: " ** PUBLIC APOLOGY ** " 0x01018c: " Due to the fact that the first two " 0x0101b7: " demo's were written a while ago, and " 0x0101e2: " that i didn't zero all sprite pointers " 0x01020d: " occasionaly a malformed sprite " 0x010238: " will flicker on the screen " 0x010263: " please excuse this, as it didn't " 0x01028e: " occur in the dos versions. " 0x0102b9: "WECLOME TO THE BEST OF ZAPHOD COLLECTION" 0x0102e4: " " 0x01030f: " Pick one of the following demos " 0x01033a: " " 0x010365: " " 0x010390: " F1 - My First Demo F2 - Bob Demo " 0x0103bb: " " 0x0103e6: " F3 - Monty Demo F4 - Go For Zaphod " 0x010411: " " 0x01043c: " F5 - GBZWOA Demo F6 - Party Demo " 0x010467: " " 0x010492: " This demo was written in November 1988 " 0x0104bd: " " 0x0104e8: " It was the first big release from " 0x010513: " " 0x01053e: " Zaphod & The Nutcrackers " 0x010569: " " 0x010594: " Though not our first demo together, it " 0x0105bf: " was probably the best Australian " 0x0105ea: " demo at the time " 0x010615: " " 0x010640: " This demo was written six months ago " 0x01066b: " " 0x010696: " It was just a little intro to test " 0x0106c1: " " 0x0106ec: " my new bob routines " 0x010717: " " 0x010742: " and to tell my firends and contacts " 0x01076d: " " 0x010798: " that i had not died " 0x0107c3: " This demo is one of the best i have " 0x0107ee: " ever written, if not the largest! " 0x010819: " " 0x010844: " It contains an early version of my " 0x01086f: " Monty on the Run clone called " 0x01089a: " - WEASEL ON THE GO! - " 0x0108c5: " (The Monty sprite is now gone Gremlin) " 0x0108f0: " " 0x01091b: " Sorry, there is no exit back to this " 0x010946: " menu as it requires all the memory!! " 0x010971: " " 0x01099c: " This demo was written only this week " 0x0109c7: " " 0x0109f2: " to fill up space on this disk! " 0x010a1d: " " 0x010a48: " " 0x010a73: " It contains 25 bobs, 6 sprites, a wide " 0x010a9e: " " 0x010ac9: " bitmap and as usual, a scroller! " 0x010af4: " " 0x010b1f: " This is the nicest demo i have ever " 0x010b4a: " written. (Only took 12 hours) " 0x010b75: " " 0x010ba0: " It was written for the demo compition " 0x010bcb: " at the Divinity/Zaphod copy party " 0x010bf6: " " 0x010c21: " Winning 1st place " 0x010c4c: " " 0x010c77: " It gives a good description of what " 0x010ca2: " happened at the party " 0x010ccd: " This is the weirdest demo, i have ever " 0x010cf8: " written or seen? " 0x010d23: " " 0x010d4e: "The scrolly takes 57 minutes to read and" 0x010d79: " the music is amazingly long and weird. " 0x010da4: " " 0x010dcf: "Coming soon: The Dork Demo " 0x010dfa: " 100k of scrolltext " 0x010e25: " Even better music " 0x010e50: " Heaps of gfx and effects " demo 1: 0x041815: "GREETINGS AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER MEGA AMAZING DEMO FROM AUSTRALIA'S HOTTEST 68000 CODERS. BEFORE I GET STARTED I WANT TO SAY A BIG G'DAY (NOT GOODDAY) TO RYKER, OUR FRIEND IN AMERICA WHO RUNS THE ULTIMATE AMAZING BULLETIN BOARD - STARSHIP 182 - ALSO A BIG HELLO TO THE HELLRAISERS, WHO ARE ONE OF THE FEW GROUPS WHO PROGRAM THE AMIGA IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA. WELL LETS GET OUR HEADS BACK TOGETHER NOW AND CONTINUE ON WITH THE SCROLL. THE NUTCRACKERS AND I ARE THE BEST YOU'LL FIND IN AUSTRALIA, SO IF YOU WANT SOME QUICK SPEADING, WRITE TO US, WE ARE THE FASTEST! GETTING ORIGINAL IDEAS FOR DEMOS OR INTROS THESE DAYS, IS GETTING VERY HARD, BUT WRITING ANY TYPE OF DEMO EARNS YOU EXPERIENCE POINTS, WE ALL HAVE TO START FROM THE GROUND AND WORK OUR WAY UP, TO ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WRITE DEMOS/INTROS (BIG OR SMALL) GOOD ON YA, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. I REALLY HATE THINKING WHAT TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SCROLL TEXTS, SO I WILL JUST GREET A FEW OF MY PERSONAL FRIENDS AND SAY GOODBYE TILL MY NEXT DEMO. MY PERSONAL THANKS GO TO [ WAYNE, ELLY AND JESSICA [ STEVE MC. [ DANNY [ SALLY [ SUE [ KAREN [ TRACY [ BOON [ ALDRIAN [ RUSSELL [ AND TO THE TRANSPERTH BUS THAT HIT THE SIDE OF MY CAR !?! [ SEE YOU NEXT TIME... " 0x041cec: " NUTCRACKERS " 0x041cff: " *** THE REST OF THE DRIBBLE IS FROM ZAPHOD *** GREETINGS TO ALL SUPER INTELLIGENT SHADE OF BLUE!! " 0x041d6f: " MY GREETINGS GO TO: - THE NUTCRACKERS (WHOSE SCROLL TEXT LIES 1KB BELLOW THIS POINT) - WAYNE, ELLY AND JESSICA - CORY (FOR HIS GREAT MUSIC) - AND ALL OTHER 68000 FREAKS. " 0x041e22: " THE MEGA COOL GREETINGS GO TO .. RYKER AND THE STARSHIP 182 BBS @ THE HELLRAISERS @ YEGG @ BAMIGA SECTOR ONE @ QUORAM @ THE KENT TEAM @ RED SECTOR @ JUNGLE COMMAND @ VISION FACTORY @ DOC @ 1001 CREW @ MISFITS OF SCIENCE @ ALCATRAZ @ INERTIA @ ACU @ SUNRAIDERS @ THE CHAMPS @ THE MOVERS @ SCA @ ZARK @ ZODIAC @ ALPHA FLIGHT @ ANTITRAX 2010 @ BLIZZARD @ DEFJAM @ QUADLITE @ SINNERS @ DANISH GOLD @ SODAN @ MAGICIAN 42 @ FASHION @ LIGHT CIRCLE @ MASTER @ GURU MASTER @ HOTLINE @ NEW AGE @ UNIT A @ LORD BLITTER @ TRISTAR @ THE WEB @ ANC @ MEGAFORCE @ RANDOM ACCESS @ WORLD OF WONDERS @ HQC @ THE KNIGHT HAWKS @ WOW @ X-RAYZ @ NATO AND TEW @ PHR-CREW @ X-MEN @ STACK @ IMPACT @ RAZOR @ BEASTIE BOYS @ ACKERLIGHT @ DEXION @ ACCADEMY @ THE SILENTS @ AND TO ALL OTHER AMIGA FREAKS HACKERS AND CRACKERS . . . . . . . WALLY GREETINGS GO TO .. MEECOB OF JOY DIVISION " 0x042190: " WELCOME TO ANOTHER MEGA COOL DEMO FROM ZAPHOD AND THE NUTCRACKERS .. IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT US FOR CRACKING OR SPEADING THEN WRITE TO - ZAPHOD AND THE NUTCRACKERS - 23 APARA WAY NOLLAMARA - PERTH WESTURN AUSTRALIA 6061 . WE LOOK FORWARD FROM HEARING FROM YOU. " demo 2: 0x058033: " G'DAY AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER AMAZING DEMO BY NON OTHER THAN ?? Z A P H O D " 0x058097: "HI IT'S ME AGAIN WITH ANOTHER SMALL DEMO FOR YOU TO FEAST YOU EYES ON, THERE ARE NO GREETINGS IN THIS SCROLL SO READ THE ABOVE SPRITE SCROLL. BOB ROUTINES ARE REAL FUN TO MAKE!, THEN YOU OPTIMIZE THE CODE TO THE MAX, AND HOPEFULLY YOU GET REAL FAST BOBS. THATS WHAT I HAVE DONE, AS YOU CAN SEE, THE BOUNCING ZAPHOD, EACH LETTER IS A SEPARATE BOB, JUST FOLLOWING A SINE TABLE. MY BOB ROUTINES CAN DRAW ABOUT 50 OF THE ABOVE BOBS PER FRAME AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO BLITCLEAR AND DOUBLEBUFFER THE DISPLAY, PUT A LOT OF 16X16 BOBS ON THE SCREEN AND I COULD DRAW AROUND 150 OF EM. COME TO THINK OF BOBS, IN THE LATEST PHENOMIA MEGA DEMO, THE FIRST DEMO SAYS IT HAS 200 BOBS ON THE SCREEN, WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP, THE SCREENS ARE GENERATED AND THE MOVEMENT IS JUST PAGE FLIPPING. HINTS TO PEOPLE MAKING THEIR OWN BOB ROUTINES, EACH BOB MUST HAVE A STRUCTURE, THAT HOLDS ITS X AND Y, IMAGE DATA AND MASK DATA, AND ITS WIDTH AND HEIGHT. WITH THAT YOU USE ALL FOUR BLITTER DMA CHANNELS AS DESCRIBED IN THE HARDWARE MANUAL, TO DISPLAY THE BOB ON THE SCREEN. ONE THING, IS THAT YOU MUST HAVE A 16 PIXEL GAP TO THE RIGHT OF THE BOB, SO THE BLITTER BARREL SHIFTER HAS ROOM TO SHIFT THE IMAGE DATA, FOR PIXEL POSITIONS. SO IN THAT CASE A 16X16 BOB IS REALLY A 32X16 BOB. A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ASKING HOWS MY GAME GOING?, WELL ITS GOING SLOWLY AT THE MOMENT AS I AM DRAWING SPRITES TO GO IN IT, OF COURSE I CAN'T DRAW FOR NUTS, SO ITS GOING VERY SLOWLY, ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO HAVE A GO, AND GET THEIR NAME IN THE CREDITS, THEN CONTACT ME. I HAVE FOUND A COMPANY WHO WANTS TO PUBLISH IT, SO ALL I NEED NOW IS GRAPHICS AND A PLOT TO THE GAME. IN SEPTEMBER, THE DIVINITY / ZAPHOD COPYPARTY WILL BE HELD, ALL THE TOP CREWS IN PERTH WILL BE THERE. (NO LAMERS WILL BE THERE!) THERE WILL BE A DEMO WRITTING CONTEST, STARTING AND FINISHING AT THE PARTY, THE PRIZE IS TWENTY DISKS (SOME THING I NEED, SO I'M GOING ALL OUT TO WIN THE CONTEST!?!). TO ALL THE GROUPS WHO ARE INVITED, SEE YA THERE AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING PLENTY OF BOOZE FOR ME AND COLIN TO DRINK (HA HA). IF YOU ARE NOT INVITED AND YOU THINK THAT YOUR NOT A LAMER, THEN CONTACT EITHER ME OR DIVINITY, IT'S INVITATION ONLY. MY NEXT DEMO WILL BE THE COPYPARTY DEMO, THOUGH THE W.A. MEGA DEMO DISK WILL BE OUT BEFORE THEN! SO SEE YA ALL NEXT TIME.. " 0x0589ec: " MEGA AMAZING GREETING GO TO - THE NUTCRACKERS (THE OLDEST HACKERS AROUND, THE BEST ON THE 64) - THE HELLRAISERS (SOME OF THE BEST IMPORTERS TO W.A.) - DIVINITY (A NEW GROUP, THAT'S MADE ITS MARK IN THE PERTH SCENE!) - AND TO ARAGORN (ALONE IN THE WILD!) - SEE YA ALL AT THE DIVINITY - ZAPHOD COPYPARTY. NORMAL GREETING GO TO - A.C.U. - THE NUKEBUSTERS - MYSTICS - THE FIRESTARTERS - VORTEX 42 (ZAPHOD IN PARTICULAR) - THE PUNK ROCK CREW - D.O.C. - MISFITS OF SCIENCE - QUARTEX - DEFJAM - AND TO SODAN (I'VE WRITEN A FEW GAMES ASWELL! - REWRITE CRACKERS REVENGE!?!) A NOW A FEW THANKS TO SOME OF MY PERSONAL FRIENDS - WAYNE, ELLY AND JESSICA (NOW A YEAR OLD) - KAREN - AND TO COLIN. " demo 3: 0x07a25a: " G'DAY AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER DEMO FROM AUSTRALIAS GREATEST CODER " 0x07a2a8: " ZAPHOD[ " 0x07a2b8: " " 0x07a2c2: " WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE W.A. MEGA DEMO DISK? IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT W.A. HAS SOMETHING MORE THAN LAMERS TO OFFER. IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT I DON'T JUST MAKE DEMO'S (10 IN TOTAL), I HAVE ALSO WRITTEN TWO GAMES, BUSINESS SOFTWARE AND COMPUTER BASED TRAINING PRODUCTS ON THIS GREAT MACHINE. BY NOW YOU MIGHT HAVE TRIED PRESSING THE RIGHT MOUSE BUTTON, IF YOU HAVEN'T THEN DO AND YOU WILL GET A SMALL SUPRISE (OR A BIG SUPRISE IF YOU ARE A FAN OF MONTY). MONTY?? " 0x07a4bc: " I HEAR YOU ASK, WELL THE GAME YOU WILL PLAY IS A EARLY VERSION OF MY SECOND GAME THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON FOR A WHILE, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, I AM STILL ADDING MORE FEATURES ALL THE TIME, AND GETTING THE PLAYABILITY JUST RIGHT (IT STILL NEEDS WORKING ON). PROGRAMMING A GAME LIKE MONTY WAS A LOT EASIER ON THE CLASSIC 64, ANIMATED CHARS WHERE AUTOMATICALLY REDRAWN, THE AMIGA HAS TO REDRAW THEM, AND THAT TAKES VALUABLE RASTER TIME. IF YOU ARE A PROGRAMMER OR INTERESTED AT MY WORK THEN WRITE TO ME, I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO SOME OTHER PROGRAMMERS, AS THEIR ISN'T MUCH IN AUSTRALIA. " 0x07a718: "WELL I GUESS I BETTER GET ON WITH THE GREETINGS, FIRST A BIG HELLO TO MY GOOD FRIENDS * THE NUTCRACKERS (KEEP ON GETTING MORE PINBALLS FOR ME TO PLAY!) * THE HELLRAISERS (A GREAT MUSIC TAPE WE MADE EH!?!) * DIVINITY (GLAD TO MEET YA AT LAST!) * ARAGORN (THANKS FOR THE OBJECT UPDATE!) * YEGG * ZODIAC * * A.C.U. * THE NUKEBUSTERS * NIGHTMARE * VORTEX 42 (ZAPHOD IN PARTICULAR!?!) * AND NOW HELLOS AND THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING FRIENDS, * WAYNE, ELLY AND JESSICA (COM'N WAYNE LETS GET DRUNK AND BURN THE A1000) * COLIN (KEEP WORKING ON THE GAME!) * HANS (KEEP UP ON THE LEARNING OF 68000) * DAREN (ALSO KEEP UP THE PROGRAMMING) * KAREN * ANDREW (THANKS FOR THE BEST BBS IN PERTH - TERMINAL) * TONY BARKER (WRITE ME SOON, GOT A LOT TO TELL YOU!) * ALSO TO D.O.C AND T.J.C FOR THEIR GREAT SOUNDTRACKER PROGRAMS. " 0x07aa73: "GAMES HAVE COME A LONG WAY OVER THE YEARS, I SPENT A LOT OF HOURS PLAY ATARI 800 GAMES ON MY FRIENDS COMPUTER, WHEN GAMES LIKE STAR RAIDERS, FROGGER AND POLE POSITION WERE ALL THE RAGE, THEN THE VIC-20 CAME ALONG WITH ITS 3K, BLOCKY GRAPHICS AND DEMENTED SOUND. SOON THE 64 AND SPECTRUM APPEARED AND GAVE CLASSICS LIKE MANIC MINER AND JET SET WILLY, LATER IN THEIR LIFE THE GAMES GOT BETTER, GHOSTBUSTERS WITH IT'S GREAT SOUND, URIDIUM AND IT'S AMAZING GRAPHICS, AND THE BEST OF THEM ALL \"MONTY ON THE RUN\", IT HAD SUPERB PLAYABILITY WHICH IN MY BOOKS COUNTS MOST IN A GAME, AS LONG AS THE GRAPHICS ARE OK, THE GAME WILL KEEP YOU COMING BACK FOR MORE. NOW WE HAVE THE AMIGA AND THE ATARI RANGE OF COMPUTERS, WELL I ASK WHAT'S NEXT. A WORD TO ALL COMPUTER MAGAZINES, DON'T RATE GAMES SO HARD, THE PROGRAMMERS ARE EXPECTED TO LIVE UP TO THE MACHINES STANDARDS, SURE IT TAKES TIME AND A LOT OF EFFORT, BUT LATER ON YOU WILL HAVE TECHNICALLY BRILLIANT GAMES, THE SAME THING HAPPENED ON THE 64, IT TOOK FIVE YEARS TO FULLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE MACHINE COULD DO, AND NOW THEY ARE STILL FINDING NEWER THINGS LIKE EXTENDED COLOUR RANGES. " 0x07aef6: "AND NOW FOR THE TECHNICAL DETAILS OF THE DEMO, UNCOMPRESSED SIZE: 480K * SOURCE CODE SIZE: 6000 LINES (MOSTLY FOR MONTY) * ALL ROUTINES ARE HOME MADE (EXCEPT THE ST-PLAYER) * WHEN I WRITE A NEW DEMO, SURE I CUT AND PASTE FROM MY OTHER DEMOS, BUT I ALLWAYS TRY AND CODE SOMETHING NEW INTO THEM! WELL WHAT IS THE NEW THING FOR THIS DEMO ?? MONTY OFCOURSE!! WELL, TIME TO GO, AND SAY, SEE YA AROUND THE UNIVERSE GUYS.. UNTIL NEXT TIME.. " demo 4: 0x042b78: " SEVERAL SPECIES OF SMALL FURRY ANIMALS GATHER TOGETHER IN A CAVE AND GO GROOVING WITH ZAPHOD! " 0x042bea: " WHAT WAS THAT I HEAR YOU ASK?? JUST SOME THING JEFF MINTER WOULD LIKE TO DO! WELCOME TO ANOTHER PART OF THE BEST OF ZAPHOD COLLECTION. THIS DEMO TOOK 1 AND A HALF DAYS TO WRITE, MOST OF THAT TIME WAS USE TO DEBUG THE ALLREADY TESTED CODE? I DIDN'T BELIEVE WHAT WENT WRONG WITH THE CREATION OF THIS DEMO, YOU NAME IT IT WENT WRONG! BUT I FIGURED OUT WHY SO MUCH WENT WRONG, IT'S THE FIRST DEMO I HAVE EVER WRITTEN SOBER!! LOCAL GREETS GO TO * THE NUTCRACKERS * THE HELLRAISERS * DIVINITY * BANDIDOS * EASTERN STATES GREETS GO TO * NOVA * MYSTIXS * FREESTYLE * THE FIRE STARTERS * WHATS LEFT OF A.C.U * OVER SEAS GROUPS GREETS GO TO * EVERYBODY REALLY, I DON'T KNOW MANY PEOPLE OVER THERE, AS I DON'T REALLY NEED CONTACTS FOR SOFTWARE! BUT IF THERE ARE ANY HACKERS OR PROGRAMMERS WRITTING GAMES, THEN DON'T BE AFRAID TO WRITE. THE ADDRESS IS IN THE MONTY DEMO. * THE GAME I AM WORKING ON IS GOING FINE NOW, IT IS A LOT MORE DEVELOPED THAN THE EARLY VERSION IN THE MONTY DEMO. I AM CALLING IT * WEASEL ON THE GO! * AND SHOULD BE READY SOON, AS THE GRAPHICS AND THE MUSIC ARE BEING WRITTEN FOR IT AT THE MOMENT, BY SOME FRIENDS OF MINE. THATS IT I THINK, JUST GOT TO SET UP THE DISK WITH ALL THE DEMOS ON IT. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT, THE FIRST MEGA-DEMO FROM WESTERN AUSTRALIA... AND REMEMBER ... GO FOR ZAPHOD !!! " demo 5: 0x0762bd: " GAY BEACHED ZOMBIE WHALES ON ACID ???? CONFUSED, THEN FUCK OFF, AND WELCOME TO YET ANOTHER DEMO FROM ZAPHOD AND THE NUTCRACKERS ... !. ... I DONT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO WRITE, I HATE THESE FUCKING SCROLLIES ... ! ...THE GREFICKS ON THIS SCROLLY AND THIS SCREEN WOZ DUN BY THE SHADOW ... ! ... THE FIVE-MINUTE INSTANT INFLATABLE PROGRAM WOZ DUN BY ZAPHOD ... ! ... !!?? SHE PURRS LIKE A CAT AT A CREAM BOWL, LEVERING MY LEGS WIDE APART AND CLAMPING HER LIPS TO MY SMOULDERING SEX. SHE IS SUCKING SO HARD SHE SEEMS TO BE INHALING MY JUICES RIGHT DOWN TO HER PANTING LUNGS. I CAN SCENT THE MUSKY FRAGRANGE OF MY LOINS AND HEAR THE MOIST SLURPINGS OF HER TONGUE AS I MELT IN A FOAMING DELUGE ??!! .................... !!?? WELL THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW FUCKED THE ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS ARE IN PORNOS ...... HEY !!! GET YOUR HAND OFF YOUR DICK YOU FUCKEN MASTERBATING LITTLE PISSANT LAMER SHIT FOR BRAINS CUNT ... ... I CAN SEE YOU ... WANKING THAT PUNY WORM YOU CALL A DICK ... ... WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE MUSIC ? ? ? ... DONT WORRY, IT DOESNT GET ANY BETTER ... ... IT TOOK US ABOUT FOUR HOURS TO MAKE THE WHOLE FUCKEN THING .....!! ... THE PICTURE IN THE BACKGROUND TOOK ABOUT TWO MINUTES, AND THIS FONT !!IF YOU CAN READ IT!! TOOK ABOUT THIRTY MINUTES TO MAKE ... ... NOT BAD EH! ... THE MUSIC IS SO FUCKEN BIG ... !!?? NOW THAT WAS NICE. YES, FUCK ME FROM BEHIND THIS TIME. A REAL NICE, DEEP FUCK FROM BEHIND, LIKE ANIMALS DO... YES , THATS RIGHT, COME ON, FUCK ME STALLION,BULL,TIGER,LION... YEAH, LIKE THE LION DOES ON T.V. , ROAR AS YOU COME, LIKE HE DOES... OH YES, FUCK , FUCK, FUCK, ROAR, ROAR, ROAR... !!?? ... WOW , THER GOES SOME MORE OF THAT HOT PORNO SHIT ...!! ...IF YOU THORT YOU WERE SANE NOW ... THEN WAIT UNTIL WE GET A BIT DEEPER INTO THE MUSIC, THEN YOULL GO FUCKEN CRAZY ........ WE ALL HAD A FUCKEN GREAT TIME THIS WEEKEND ... DRINKING ANYTHING THAT WAS COOL AND WET, AND SMOKING ANYTHING THAT WAS DRY AND GREEN .... THATS FUCKEN GOOD SHIT, BOY I TELL YOU... AND WE STILL GOT THE BEST PART OF AN OUNCE LEFT , TOO ..!! ... WHATS THE LONGEST SCROLL TEXT EVER MADE ??? WE MUST STILL HAVE ANOTHER EIGHT FUCKEN MILES TO GO YET ..... .... ... .. . ZZZZZZZZZZ . .. ... .... ..... ! ? ... .. ZZZZZZZZZZ ... .. . !!!?!!! ... . . . . ..... ZZZZZ ?? ......... BRRRRRRRR IIIIII I III III NNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG! .... OOPS ........... JUST DOZED OFF A LITTLE THERE .... SORRY BUT IVE ALREADY HAD ABOUT ELEVEN FUCKING CONES .... . .... DOES ANYONE WANT A FOUR DAY OLD MOULDY BIT OF PIZZA .. ... ..!! ONLY ONE PREVIOUS OWNER !! ... LOW MILEAGE .. !!ITS ONLY HAD ONE BITE TAKEN OUT OF IT!! ... .. I COULD EAT A FUCKEN WHORE ... . . . . . . . .. I MEAN HORSE ... I GOT THE FUCKEN MUNCHIES , MAN THE MUSIC IS FREAKY AY? !!??YEH, SLIDE IT IN THERE, PEDRO BABY. NICE AND EASY. GIVE ME A LONG, SLOW, FUCK. FOR YOU ITS FREE. OH, WOW! MY CUNT IS SOPPING IN ITS OWN JUICES. IT WAS NEVER NATURALLY WET IN THE WHOREHOUSE , ALL THAT JELLY, I MUST HAVE USED A TON OF THE STUFF!!?? ... IS THAT MORE OF THAT BAD ENGLISH PORNO SHIT OR IS IT A RECIPE FOR FLAMBAY BEARDED CLAM ... !! ... !!??NEVER WITHOUT A BEARDED PACMAN!!?? .... ... REMEMBER THAT ONE ! THINK HARD LAMER, HARDER THAN THE FOUR INCH PISSER YOU GOT IN YOUR LEFT HAND ... ... I I I I I II I I II WE ARE IN JEFF MINTER HEAVEN HERE ... EXCEPT I CANT SEE ANY LLAMAS ... BUT DID YOU SEE ALL THOSE FLYING JOINTS OR WOT, MAAN ... !!THEY WERE THE CHARACTER !! I !! !! ..... .. .... !! LOOK OUT, BENT, FLYING USED CONDOM ALERT!! WARNING!! ARMED PROPHELACTIC ALERT !! CORRECT MY SPELLING HERE !! SO WHAT IF I CANT SPELL PROPHELACTIC!! ARSEHOLE FUDGE PACKER!! ... ???????? ??? ?? ???? THERE THEY GO ...... FLYING FRANGERS .... .. THE LETTER A IS A FLYING ROCKET SEE !!??? AAAAAA ... THE B IS A PAIR OF SAM FOX SPECIALS BBB WELCOME TO TIT WORLD BBBB BB BB I BBB BBB B B B BBB BB THEY ARE BETTER WHEN YOU ARE STONED... EVEN SMALL ONES DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ??? Q ... ??? THAT WAS DEAD EYE DICK WITH A DAGGER IN HIS PUPIL .... .... WHY IS THE FUCKEN LETTER N ON FIRE ... . . .. . . SO THAT WE CAN LIGHT UP THE LETTER K .... AND MAYBE TO BURN LETTER X KKKXXX ... BREATHE DEEP LADS !!! ... R IS THE ROBOT !!! LOOKS LIKE THE ONE OUT OF ROBOCOP A BIT !!?? .... IF YOU DONT LIKE DOPE THEN SUCK YOURSELF A LETTER E OR F ... . . . . . DAMN BROWN TOBACCO AINT WORTH SHIT WHEN YOU GOT GOOD GREEN STUFF .... KKX XKII KXIIKXIKXK XKIX ... LOOK AT ALL THAT SHIT .... .. . AND THE GUY WHO DESIGNED THE CHARACTER SET DOESNT EVEN SMOKE THE STUFF ... .. .. . . . .BUT WE TRIED BREATHING ON HIM !!?? MAYBE SOME OF IT GOT TO HIM A LITTLE BIT . . . ... . . . . .. DID I MISS OUT THE LETTER ... V ... I LOVE PIZZA ... FUCK IM HUNGRY .... ... V V V V V V V V ... LOOK AT ALL THAT PIZZA DELUXE PAINT STYLE .... FUCK OFF ... I THINK YOU HAVE SEEN ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS SET BUT JUST IN CASE YOU DIDNT ... ... ...THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG ... .... ... THINK ABOUT IT LAMER... Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y !!WARNING!! Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y ... COLIN IS GOING TO THE TOILET !!! HE IS PROBABLY GOING TO LOCK HIMSELF IN THERE AGAIN ... AFTER HE READ SOME OF THOSE SWEDISH SEX MAGAZINES HE MIGHT STAY IN THERE FOR HOURS ... WANK WANK ... MONEY IN THE BANK ... PULL YOUR PUD ... AND GET FUCKED ... DEVIATE ... WIZZERATE ... DONT EJACUATE ... UNTIL YOU EVACUATE ... HER GEARBOX ERATE ... COPULATE ... EXFOLIATE ... MASTERBATE ... MASTICATE ... ANNIHILATE .. DISINTEGRATE ... PUPILS DILATE ... AS YOU INHALATE ... HALLUCINATE .. . CASTRATE ... MAKEADEMOERATE ... FUCK IM BENT ... ILL SAY THAT ONE AGAIN ... MAKEADEMOERATE .... !!??WE WROTE THEE ORIGINAL LYRICS FOR THAT STUPID I.N.X.S. SONG BUT THEY DIDNT END UP USING THEM !! ?? V V V I WOULD KILL FOR A FUCKING PIZZA NOW .... I I I I C C C C CC CCC CCC OR EVEN A HALF EATEN COOKIE OR A JOINT ... HERE IS THE DATE IN ROMAN NUMERALS ... GET YOUR TASTE BUDS READY FOR THIS LOT ... MCMLXXXIX ... SHOWS YOU THAT THERE IS A LOT OF HASH ABOUT IN THIS DAY AND AGE .. ... IKXKXIXK ... .. NOW THAT WAS A GOOD YEAR !!! ... SO WAS !!! CCDVDVCVVD .... .. . ... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS .... DONT READ IT, JUST LOOK AT IT !!! HERE IT COMES ... XXXXXSXXXXX ... THAT WAS A SNAKE IN THE GRASS .... DESPATCH WAR ROCKET AJAX TO BRING BACK HIS BODY ... R ... GO GET HIM ROBOCOP Q .. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH .. I HAVE SHAVED OFF MY EYEBROWS AS A TRIBUTE TO BOB GELDOF ... FROM THE HOT MOVIE THE WALL ... LONG LIVE THE ALL MIGHTY SONS OF BITCHES PINK FLOYD !!! OTHER BANDS SHADOW IN THE LAMER PIT AT THE SLIGHTEST MENTION OF THE GREAT PINK FLOYD ... ... WISH YOU WERE HERE .... IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE ??? DOES ANYBODY HERE REMEMBER VERA LYNN ?? ?? ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF DAZE OF OUR LIVES!! PASS ME THE BONG DOOD!! THANKYOU HERE MUST GO TO THE MANUFACTERS OF THE DRINK F.M. BECAUSE THE PLASTIC BOTTLES ARE JUST THE RIGHT SIZE TO MAKE YOURSELF A PORTABLE GO ANYWHERE ROTTO BLOTTO BONG .. .. ... .. OH GROSS, GENITAL WART, OH GROSS, MAKES ME SICK ... STUART IS READING MORE OF THOSE MAGEZINES .. .. ZZTOP IS PLAYING LAGRANGE ON MY RADIO AND IT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TOO ... HERES TO BUNDY BEAR !! ... TRY THIS RECIPE ... A BIG GLASS ... I MEAN A FUCKEN BIG GLASS !! ... ... A BIT OF VODKA ... SORRY!! A LOT OF VODKA..... CORRECTION .. A FUCKEN GREAT SWIG OF VODKA .... FIFTEEN DOLLARS A BOTTLE SHIT... ... ... SOME TEQUILA ... A LOT OF TEQUILA ... BY GOLLY BY JINGOES A FUCKEN RAIN TANK OF FUCKEN MEXICAN METHO TEQUILA ... WITH WORMS IF YOU GOT THEM ... AND SOME COKE ... JUST FOR THE TASTE OF IT .... ADD ALL INGREDIENTS AND MIX THOROUGHLY ... EXHALE,GASP, TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK, HOLD YOUR NOSE, OPEN YOUR CAKEHOLE AND SKULL THAT SUCKER COCKTAIL AS FUCKEN FAST AS YOU FUCKEN CAN ... ... YOU WILL END UP SLEEPING ON THE GRASS !!SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA!! IN SOME DUM FUCKERS HOUSE.... ... HOW MUCH AM I GOING TO WRITE ... I COULD GO ON FOR DAYS ....!!WE STILL GOT NEARLY AN OUNCE HERE!! SO IM GOING FOR ANOTHER CONE .... INTRODUCING THE NEW HOST OF THE SHOW ... ZAPHOD ... BYE ... NOW ITS MY TURN TO BLABBLE SHIT THROUGH THE MONITOR, OOOOO I BETTER CLEAN THE LAST REMARK UP OOOOO MY FRIEND JUST CHOKED ON HIS CONE, AND IS GOING FOR THE SECOND ATTEMPT !!THIRTEEN CONES IN TOTAL!!, CONGRATS, HE GOT IT RIGHT. WELL I HAVE BEEN DRINKING MY FAVOURATE DRINK ALL NIGHT, BUNDABERG O.P. RUM !!FIFTY SEVEN PERCENT!! !!I WISH WE HAD DRAWN SOME FUNKING NUMBERS!! ANYBODY WANT SOME COLD CHIPS TO GO WITH THE PIZZA .... JUST SEND A SELF ADDRESSED STAMPED ENVELOPE TO ???? SATURN, THIRD MOON ON THE LEFT AS YOU EXIT HYPERSPACE ???? HOPE YOU DONT GET LOST ... TO GET SOME REAL REMARKS FROM ME !!!! THEN READ MY OTHER DEMO SCROLL TEXT, . . .. ... .. . . AH HES LANDED AGAIN, BACK TO THE GUY WITH THE ONE RED SHOE !!!!! ?????? !!!!! .... .... GREETINGS FROM STURN... ... ... SATURN ... .. THE LETTERS ON THIS KEYPAD HAVE GONE A DIFFERENT SHAPE AND A DIFFERNET COLOUR. I SAID DIFFERENT COLOUR.... . . . .HAVE FUN ON THE BEACH, BUT LOOK OUT FOR THOSE GAY BEACHED ZOMBOE WHALES ON ACID... . . . . .. . .. . .. . EARTHSHAKER!! I AM THE BLACK KNIGHT !! HEAD FOR THE SHELTER !! ... .. . .. . .I GOT THOSE WILLIAMS PINBALL BLUES .. . . ... . .. . . NUMBER ONE IN THE WORLD .... . . . . . . .. .JUST LIKE THIS FUCKEN DEMO .. . . . . . . .. THE DELICATE FLYING FRUIT SALAD SCOLL TEXT .. . . . . INSPIRATION AND ADDITIONAL, NUTRITIONAL FAT INPUT COMES FROM KENTUCKY FRIED CHIICKEN ... . . . .IIKKXX WOW!! DCVCDV WOW!!! HEY HO THE LIGHTS ARE FLASHING, WERE GOING LAMER BASHING! ! ! HANDY HINT NUMBER ONE ... ... ... ... ... ...REMEMBER NEVER TO STICK YOUR HEAD INTO A BOILING CHIP PAN.. .. .. . .. . ... .. . . LOOKS LIKE MORSE CODE ALL THOSE SCROLLY DOTS .. . . ... ... . .. . ... .. ... .. . . ... .. . . . ... ... .. .... ... THERE GOES SOME MORE ... AND HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE . THERE GOES THE LITTLE FUCKER, JUST ONE SMALL SPERM DROP IN THE VAST OCEAN OF UTERUS JUICE. . . . . . . . .WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AFTERBIRTH AND SAND ??? .. ... .. .. YOU CAN NOT GARGLE SAND .. . . .. . WHAT ABOUT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENC BETWEEN GORILLAS AND BULLDOZERS ??? . .. . . ... .. .. ..THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL, SINCE THEY BOTH FUCK UP TREES ... . . . . . . . . .. ... . . .. . THINK ABOUT IT LAMEBRAIN !! !! .. ... .. HOW ABOUT A NICE GAME OF S AND H ... ... ... ..MAYBE YOU WOULD PREFER B? TRY SOME OF THIS KXI COZ ITS FUCKEN GOOD SHIT . . . . . .. I BEEN STONED SINCE TWO P.M. ... ... .AND ITS NOW AFTER TWO A.M. . . .. . .. ... .. ..PUT ANOTHER BONG ON THE FIRE .. .. KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN IS SHIT ... .. .. ...I HAD TO TAKE MY FUCKEN MASHED POTATOES AND GRAVY BACK BECAUSE IT HAD A FUCKEN BUSTICKET IN IT !!! .. ... ...NO SHIT , IT HAD A BUCKEN FUSTICKET IN IT .. ... ... ...AND THE GREASY FAT YELLOW SHIT UNDER THE SKIN OF THE CHICKEN LOOKS LIKE CHEESY VAGINAL DISCHARGE !!!!!!!!!!!!! EARTH TO SATURN, EARTH TO SATURN, DO YOU READ ME? ...... . .. ..LIKE A SCROLLY CONTROL ... BUT I CANT SEE YOU FOR ALL THE SMOKE HERE GOES ANOTHER ONE . REMEMBER KIDDIES, KUNTSTABLE KARE SAYS NOT TO DRINK THE BONG WATER AFTER SMOKING THE CRACK .. AND ALWAYS OFFER SOME TO YOUR PARENTS SO THEY WONT CATCH YOU SMOKING THE SHIT.. .. .. ... ..XKVVIXKVVIK .. .. ..NOW THAT WAS A DAMN GOOD YEAR ... ... .. .... . . . . . .. WHAT IF C A T SPELT D O G ??? ... WOW OGRE, THATS REAALY DEEP ... CRAP . . . .. . . ... .. ..THERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN HAVING A GOOD OLD FASHIONED CRAP . . . . .. . . . . . AINT THAT THE TROOTH . . . . . . WAVE UPON WAVE OF DEMENTED AVENGERS MARCH CHEERFULLY OUT OF OBSCURITY INTO A DREAM ... SO , SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL HEAVEN FROM HELL, BLUE SKIES FROM PAIN, CAN YOU TELL A GREEN FIELD FROM A COLD STEEL RAIL, A SMILE FROM A VEIL, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN TELL ? ... THE EMPTY SCREEN, THE VACANT LOOK ... BY THE WAY , IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE READING THIS, PLEASE CONTACT US AT THE GREAT PLANET SATURN ... . . . . .FUCKING FIGURE EIGHT ORBITALS . . . .FUCKING DEBRIS . . . .. .. .GODDAM CELESTIAL GARGANTUAN GANGROUS NOBENDS ... .. . . . . IF YOU ARE READING THIS .. . ..HEY! YOU,YES YOU! IF YOU ARE READING THIS THEN I MUST ASK YOU ONE SIMPLE QUESTION .. . ...DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS ... .. ... BECAUSE ILL BE FUCKED IF I KNOW WHAT IT ALLL MEANS . . . . .. ... . ...FOURTY TWO.. .THAT IS THE ANSWER TO LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING. . . .. .. THIS SCROLLY IS JUST ABOUT LONG ENOUGH I THINK . . . . .. .. .AFTER ALL IT IS SLIGHTLY LONGER THAN MY THROBBING ROD . . .. . .SO HERE ENDS OUR JOURNEY . . .. . ...MY GOD, ITS FULL OF STARS!!!! . . . . . . ONE BY FOUR BY NINE . . . . .FORTY TWO . . .. .. ..CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE SADO MASOCHISTIC MINDLESS IRRITANTS WHO ACTUALLY READ THE WHOLE MESSAGE . . . . . .... I SWEAR, THERE WAS A PUFFED UP MED IN MY MASHED POTATO AND GRAVY . . . . . ... .. AND SO, WITH A PIMPLE , I LEAVE YOU . THERE IT GOES... . . BY THE WAY IF YOU HAVE DECIPHERED THE MAGIC CODE WORD ... YOU HAVE TO LOOK REAAL HARD !!! . . . . . . . THEN SEND IT TO US AND YOU COULD WIN A FREE TRIP TO THE LOCAL PUS COW WHERE YOU WILL RECEIVE A FREE FACE DRAIN ... .. ... BYE BYE ........... FUCKEN ARSEHOLES ...... MAY THE GREAT GOD MARY JANE LOOK AFTER YOU, AND HER SISTER JENNY TAYLOR TOO .. . . . . . ..... .. .. .. . . . . . . . , . . THERE IS ONE IN EVERY CROWD . WAITER THERE IS A TRAM IN MY SOUP . . . . . . . . .. . . . . ." demo 6: 0x039359: " ZAPHOD " 0x03936f: " " 0x039384: " G'DAY AND WELCOME TO MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE DEMO WRITING CONTEST AT THE DIVINITY/ZAPHOD [|] HELD FROM SEPTEMBER 29TH TO OCTOBER 1ST.... THIS DEMO TOOK AROUND 12 HOURS TO COMPLETE, AND IS AROUND 370K IN SIZE, THE SOURCE IS 60K AND OVER 2500 LINES! THE MUSIC IS A REMIX OF A FEW PINK FLOYD SONGS, ORIGINALY COMPOSED BY THE CRUSADERS, AND REMIXED BY ME. NOW FOR MY DISCRIPTION OF THE GOINGS ON AT THE PARTY.... " 0x03954a: "IT'S NOW FIRDAY NIGHT AND THE NUTCRACKERS AND I ARRIVED AT DIVINITYS PLACE, WE WERE GIVEN HIS SISTERS ROOM IN THE BACK GARDEN, JUST LIKE A GRANNY FLAT, GREAT, SO MADE ROOM FOR ALL OUR GEAR, AND SET IT ALL UP. AFTER WE HAD SET UP, WE WENT TO THE SHOP TO GET SOME FOOD, AND A CHOC FM CONTAINER FOR YEGGS BONG!!! WE RETURNED, AND TALKED TO THE OTHER GUYS AT THE PARTY, AT THIS TIME IT WAS JUST DIVINITY, AND A FEW PEOPLE THAT JUST CAME FOR A LOOK! WE WENT BACK TO OUR ROOM, TO START ON OUR DEMOS, WHEN ARAGORN TURNED UP AND WANTED TO SAY HELLO, TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE, SO I SHOWED HIM, MY OTHER DEMOS, AND MY SECOND GAME. HE ONLY STAYED FOR ABOUT AN HOUR, BUT IT WAS GOOD TO SEE HIM FINALLY, AS I ONLY TALK TO HIM ON TERMINAL BBS. " 0x039832: "YEGG, GOT DOWN TO SOME SERIOUS GREEN LEAF SMOKING, WHILE I GOT STUCK INTO MY BUNDABERG O.P. RUM, MOST OF THIS DEMO WAS WRITEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE, BY THIS TIME IT WAS ABOUT MIDNIGHT. COLIN GOT DOWN TO WORKING ON HIS DEMO, BUT HE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO PLAY A 150K SAMPLE, WHEN THE CHIPS CAN PLAY ONLY 128K!!, SO HE HAD SOME OF THE GREEN WEED TO HELP HIM.. LATER ROSHI'S MOM CAME IN WANTING A PUFF OF OUR BONG, WE LET HER AND AFTER 3 CONES, SHE WAS GONE!! AND WE ALL SPENT THE NEXT HOUR, LISTENING TO HER, TALK ABOUT GOD KNOWS WHAT, WHICH CONFUSED EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM.. " 0x039a83: "ABOUT 4 OCLOCK, YEGG HAD PASSED OUT, AFTER 10 CONES, SHADOW AND ME WORKED ON THE IDEA OF A SLAG DEMO, SO WE DESIGNED A FONT THAT WAS TOTALLY AMAZING.. YOU MUST GET THE SLAGDEMO TO SEE FOR YOUR SELF, IT'S A CLASIC.. AT ABOUT 5 OCLOCK, WE WENT TO BED.... ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ .... 7 OCLOCK, I GET UP FEELING TOTALLY RAT SHIT, THE BUNDABERG BLUES, COOKED MYSELF SOME BACON AND EGGS, AND ATE THEM.. SPENT THE NEXT FEW HOURS FINISHING MY DEMO, AND ADDING NEW THINGS AND GFX TO IT, IT WAS FINISED ABOUT LUNCH TIME.. I HAD ONLY THE TEXT TO FINISH AND ADD IN!! SHADOW DREW A SCREEN FOR THE SLAG DEMO AND FINISHED THE FONT, I WAS TO WRITE THE CODE LATER, YEGG GOT THE JOB FOR WRITING THE SCROLL TEXT.. AFTER DINNER WE WATCHED A FEW PORNO VIDEOS AND SANK SOME BOOZE.. ROSHI'S MOM HAD SOME MORE DOPE!?! AT ELEVEN, YEGG AND I WROTE THE TEXT FOR THE SLAG DEMO, GOD IT WAS FUNNY, ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER, I WROTE THE CODE AND ADDED THE TEXT IN, SO WE ALL SAT BACK AND READ ALL THE TEXT WE HAD WRITEN, ONE HOUR LATER IT HAD FINISHED, FUCK IT WAS LONG, LOOKING AT THE HALFBRIGHT PICTURE, DID SOME WONDERFULL THINGS TO THE MIND?? THREE OCLOCK, I DROPED ONTO THE FLOOR AND FELL ASLEEP. ZZZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZZZ GOT UP AT NINE THE NEXT MORNING, HAD A MUCH BETTER SLEEP, THAN BEFORE, BUT STILL FELT RAT SHIT, GOT A CUP OF TEA, WHICH ROSHI'S MOM MADE FOR ME. MY FRIENDS, THE HELLRAISERS COME TODAY, SO I SPENT MOST OF THE TIME WITH THEM, LOOKING AT THE NEW SOFTWARE AND THE MAC EMULATER.. COLIN AND YEGG, SPENT THE REST OF THE DAY PLAYING THE NEW VERSION OF TETRIS, AND YELLING AT THE TOP OF THIER LUNGS, EVERY TIME ONCE OF THE LOST.. I DOWNLOADED ARAGORNS NEW DEMO FROM TERMINAL AT 9600 BAUD, ONLY TOOK 2 MINUTES FOR 100K, IT WASN'T BAD, BETTER SCROLLY THAN HIS FIRST.. THE PARTY, IS COMMING TO AN END, BUT IT'S BEEN A GOOD WEEKEND, MEETING SOME OF THE OTHER GROUPS AND INDIVIDUELS... " 0x03a22a: " HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THAT BUNCH OF WORDS, AND REMEMBER ... GO FOR ZAPHOD " 0x03a296: " " 0x03a2ac: " MEGA AMAZING GREETING GO TO - THE NUTCRACKERS - THE HELLRAISERS - DIVINITY - FUSION - ARAGORN - YEGG - SHADOW - ZODIAC - MASTER BRUCE - AND TO ALL PEOPLE AT THE COPY PARTY NORMAL GREETINGS GO TO - MYSTICS - A.C.U. - THE FIRESTARTERS - STRIKER - CRUSADERS - BANDIDOS - AND ALL OZI CREWS - GREETINGS ALSO GO TO ALL OTHER CREWS AND GROUPS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND NOW A FEW THANKS TO SOME OF MY PERSONAL FRIENDS - WAYNE, ELLY AND JESSICA (NOW A YEAR OLD) - KAREN - AND TO COLIN. "
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Added to the archive by iTeC on 21 April 2026